In 1973, McDonald’s first introduced its Egg McMuffin. The sandwich consisted of an egg, a slice of ham and cheese served on a toasted english muffin. The company later added a full slate of breakfast foods to its growing menu. As early as 1987, the red-headed clown served nearly one-fourth of all breakfasts ordered from restaurants in the United States.
Now, over forty years later, Taco Bell is rolling out its new First Meal line of early-morning offerings and Wendy’s will soon be expanding its breakfast menu. Other fast food chains are also beginning to place a similar emphasis on the market for breakfast.
Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but that doesn’t mean that the fast food chains are exclusively offering decent, healthy foods. Shocker, eh? Well, the following meals are particularly atrocious:
SUBWAY’S FOOTLONG MEGA BREAKFAST SANDWICH. Jared Fogle tipped the scales at 425 pounds, but lost over half of his weight by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches for a little less than a year. The fast food chain capitalized on his weight loss by hiring him as a spokesman for the company, and Jared has now appeared in around twenty commercials touting the healthy benefits of Subway’s offerings. You won’t hear him say a word about Subway’s Footlong Mega Breakfast Sandwich. The freakish combination of eggs, bacon and sausage weighs in at 1,310 calories and contains 79 grams of fat, 31 grams of saturated fat, 550 milligrams of cholesterol and an absurd 3,190 milligrams of sodium. It’s closely followed by the Footlong Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich, which lightens the load by around 100 calories and 370 milligrams of sodium. Jared is ashamed.
MCDONALD’S BIG BREAKFAST WITH HOT CAKES. Eating McDonald’s Big Breakfast with Hot Cakes will lead to a big belly, the need for big clothes and big risks to your health. The offering is a dangerous combination of two pancakes, scrambled eggs and sausage… and a buttermilk biscuit… and hash browns. The company has somehow managed to pack 1,090 calories into the meal, which fittingly compliments its 56 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 575 milligrams of cholesterol and 2,150 milligrams of sodium. Do yourself a favor and eat scrap metal instead – the hardware may not be as flavorful, but it should prove to be a much healthier alternative.
BURGER KING’S BK ULTIMATE BREAKFAST PLATTER. Burger King‘s sales have been slipping. It’s same-store sales are down nearly 4%, and analysts predict that it will now trail both McDonald’s and Wendy’s in gross sales. It gets an “A” for effort, though, as its BK Ultimate Breakfast Platter somehow manages to dwarf McDonald’s Big Breakfast with Hotcakes. The chain is almost inexplicably able to fill a plate with scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns, a biscuit and three pancakes. The resulting mess contains over 1300 calories, 72 grams of fat, 26 grams of saturated fat, 455 milligrams or cholesterol and 2,490 milligrams of sodium. The chain was even thoughtful enough to include a bit of trans fat in the mix.
CINNABON’S CARAMEL PECANBON. I feel a little guilty about including this entry, because any franchise that believes that Life Needs Frosting probably isn’t the mecca of health. This is almost like shooting fish in a barrel, except that one of the fish is really a Caramel Pecanbon that somehow packs in nearly 1,000 calories and almost a full day’s worth of total fat. Okay, I don’t feel guilty anymore.
HARDEE’S COUNTRY FRIED STEAK ‘N’ GRAVY BREAKFAST PLATTER. Earlier this month, Hardee’s proudly announced that it would begin offering its Country Fried Steak ‘N’ Gravy Breakfast Platter, a four piece meal includes a breaded beefsteak smothered in sausage gravy, hash rounds, eggs and a buttermilk biscuit. The combination isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, but still provides a hefty 660 calories, derives nearly three-fourths of its calories from 42 grams of fat and 13 grams of saturated fat and includes nearly a full day’s worth of sodium. The company accurately describes the assemblage as a “stick-to-your-ribs breakfast staple,” that also continues the franchise’s “fine tradition at breakfast.” The second quote may be spot-on, but only if that tradition includes its Big Country Breakfast Platter with Bacon, Syrup, Jam and Butter and the gut bomb that it refers to as its Loaded Breakfast Burrito.
On a somewhat related note, yesterday was National Blueberry Pancake Day and tomorrow marks the celebration of National Croissant Day. Read into that whatever you will…