TACOS, BELLS, BEANS AND BREAKFAST: fast food chain proves that the early bird gets the… burrito?

Wake up, sleepyhead.  The alarm clock is screaming, which can only mean that it’s time to stumble out of bed, grab a pot of caffeine, throw on those clothes and head out into the great unknown.

Unfortunately, your stomach’s grumbling, your mouth is parched, and last night’s happy hour has devolved into this morning’s awful headache.  You need food.  Pronto.

The first few minutes of the morning can seem like a painstaking journey through purgatory, but eating at least some type of breakfast can ensure that the remainder of the day is a much more pleasant experience.  Breakfast is, after all, the most important meal because it ignites the metabolism, serves as an excellent source of sustained energy and allows us to operate with heightened efficiency throughout the morning and the remainder of the day.  It’s also critical component of a healthy diet, at least in part because eating breakfast leads to the production of enzymes that metabolize fat and help control weight.

Taco Bell agrees.  

That’s why the fast food chain plans to serve breakfast at around eight hundred locations. Find your keys and grab the antacids, pal – it’s time to make an early morning run to the border.

Unfortunately, these retail locations won’t be serving breakfast from the chain’s traditional menu.  For better or worse, the early birds will need to wait until later in the day to fuel their bodies with a thousand fun-filled calories of Volcano Nachos.  They’ll also have to pass the time before they can consume nearly a full day’s worth of sodium in the 980 calorie XXLGrilled Beef Stuft Burrito.  And, trust me, your co-workers, colleagues and the janitorial staff will be thankful that you didn’t start the day with a hearty helping of Pintos-n-Cheese or a handful of infamous Bean Burritos or Cheesy Bean and Rice Burritos.  Seriously.  

Instead, the chain plans to offer a new line of breakfast dishes under its “First Meal” moniker.  Customers will still be able to think outside the bun, except they’ll now be able to chose from breakfast burritos, hash browns, sausage and egg wraps, hot or iced coffee, and Cinnabon delights.  The food will still be cheap, with items ranging in price from a couple of quarters to around three bucks.  Not bad, and incredibly efficient, considering that customers will likely be getting somewhere around four hundred calories for every dollar spent.      

Still, the offering is sure to leave a few folks scratching their head.  The First Meal menu doesn’t come close to resembling anything that we’ve come to expect from the franchise.  It looks, almost inexplicably, like a slacker simply copied the breakfast menu from McDonald’s, Burger King or some other trans fat franchise.  The chihuahua is definitely disappointed. 


One response to “TACOS, BELLS, BEANS AND BREAKFAST: fast food chain proves that the early bird gets the… burrito?

  1. news June 4, 2012 at 5:35 am

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