Human ingenuity combines with corporate marketing to create a better breadstick

Domino’s Pizza has launched a national marketing campaign that has absolutely nothing to do with pizza.  Enter the wonderful world of Domino’s Parmesan Bread Bites, the latest offering that is the subject of a brand spankin’ new commercial that’s part of the latest corporate advertising campaign.

The commercials feature Brian Edler, a franchise owner in Findlay, Ohio.  He’s been a rising star in the industry for some time, first receiving national attention when he set a world record by baking 206 medium cheese pizzas in one hour.  His pizza-powers are the stuff of legends, as he served as  Captain of the U.S. Pizza Team, competed at the World Pizza Championship in Italy and won the Fastest Dough title at the annual World Pizza Games.

Well, Franchisee Brian is back in the news.  He apparently designed the Parmesean Bread Bites by deciding to cut a breadstick into four separate and distinct bite-sized pieces and sell the product to consumers.  Customers no longer need to bite into a breadstick; they’re now able to more efficiently consume the product by simply popping a bite-sized piece straight into their mouth.

A marvel of human ingenuity, no?

Patrick Doyle, the Chief Executive Officer of Domino’s Pizza, agrees that Brian’s product is revolutionary.  He appears in the commercial, grinning and giggling while he praises Brian’s leadership and initiative.  Not surprisingly, he has directed all other franchisees to begin selling the bite-sized pieces of breadsticks.

The best ideas come from the folks on the front lines, no?

Brian’s friend Bob LaRichie apparently believes that the creativity of those in the trenches can rival corporate research.  Friend Bob also appears in the commercial, almost unable to control his excitement as he marvels at Brian’s decision to cut breadsticks into four bite-sized pieces.  He pointedly stresses that the decision originated in Ohio and that the product wasn’t the result of management’s influence on corporate test kitchens.  According to Friend Bob, “that’s what’s awesome about this!”

If Franchisee Brian is able to significantly contribute to executive operations, CEO Patrick should fear for his job, no?

Brian’s employee Lauryn Schlinghof makes a cameo appearance and explains that CEO Patrick should probably begin seeking alternative employment.  Employee Lauryn joins Friend Bob is recognizing Franchisee Brian’s decision to cut breadsticks into four bite-sized pieces.  Dressed in a neatly pressed uniform and standing in the world’s cleanest franchise, she explains that Franchisee Brian should be promoted to the Chief Executive Officer of Domino’s Pizza.

Anyway, I’m not sure why this whole damn marketing campaign agitates me.  It probably says more about me than CEO Patrick, Franchisee Brian, Friend Bob or Employee Lauryn.  I’m sure they’re nice people, and I’m probably just frustrated that no matter what I do and no matter how hard I work, my efforts will never be recognized by Domino’s Pizza.

Not so fast.  Domino’s Pizza has also announced it’s “Think Oven” campaign.  The new initiative will allow consumers to submit ideas through an online suggestion box.  Now, we all have the opportunity to become the next Franchisee Brian, without making the commitment to owning and operating a franchise.  Life is good.

Here’s to hoping that the company accepts my idea to slice its medium pizzas into twelve pieces instead of eight.  Fame and fortune are calling.

##

2 responses to “Human ingenuity combines with corporate marketing to create a better breadstick

  1. alittletoohonest March 27, 2012 at 11:18 am

    This is hysterical!! Thanks for telling it like it is, ‘slice its medium pizzas into twelve pieces instead of eight.’ (I don’t think I could eat 12, better make it 8 instead!) Still laughing!

  2. Bruna November 20, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    Undeniably consider that that you steatd. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest factor to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider issues that they just don’t realize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest as smartly as outlined out the entire thing without having side-effects , folks could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: