Tag Archives: competitive eating

A HEARTFELT APOLOGY TO COMPETITIVE EATERS… but only if you ignore the sarcasm and cynicism

I recently posted an entry that addressed the popularity of competitive eating.  The entry was admittedly critical of the sport.  I ultimately used it as an opportunity to get up on my soapbox and lambaste competitive eating within the context of the epidemic of world hunger.

I had the best of intentions, but was overly harsh. Sorry.

I want to confess my sins, undo the damage that I’ve done and at least try to make amends for my blunder.  I’m therefore posting this entry to offer my encouragement to those who are aspiring to gobble massive quantities of food within relatively short periods of time.  You deserve my support.  Your accomplishments are not going unnoticed.

We need to recognize that competitive eaters often sacrifice their health and risk debilitating physical injury to achieve unprecedented caloric success.  George Shea, the Chairman of Major League Eating, may have best explained the significance of the inherent hazards by noting that the risks fall somewhere between the dangers of ping-pong and the dangers of football.  That’s pretty darn serious, and medical professionals seem to agree.  They worry that competitive eaters may suffer from profound gastroparesis and intractable nausea and vomiting.  These athletes may also require a gastrectomy, which apparently refers to the removal of part or all of the stomach.

No guts, no glory, right?  It’s like TS Elliot proclaimedOnly those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.  Competitive eaters are athletes who are finding out just how far their stomachs (and their bowels) can go. Read more of this post


Forget Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes and Prince Fielder.  They’re amateurs. It’s long past time that the nation recognizes the heroic accomplishments of Joey Chestnut, Bob Shoudt, Gravy Brown and Eric Booker.

Forget about the upcoming tip-off of the 2011-12 NBA season, the looming NFL playoffs and the NCAA BCS bowl series.  They’re irrelevant.  We’re ready to enjoy unbridled feats of athleticism at the Isle Casino Racing Pickle Eating World Championship, the Wild Turkey 81 Eating World Championship  and the Jake Melnick Battle of the Bhut XXX Wing Eating Championship.

That’s right, folks.  It’s time for the populous to stand up and announce, in a collective and deafening roar, our growing appetite for the recognition of the sport of competitive eating.

I’m not really sure why the mainstream media hasn’t already realized that the nation stands ready to consume increasing coverage of Major League Eating http://www.ifoce.com/index.php.  Later today, the world’s greatest athletes will compete in the Martorano’s Masters Meatball Eating Championship.  The event, however, is being largely overshadowed by the presentation of the Heisman Trophy.  That’s just not fair.

Look, opinions prove subjective and open to interpretation.  Statistics, however, never lie Read more of this post

%d bloggers like this: