Tag Archives: valentine’s day

On Valentine’s Day, nothing screams passion or romance like cake shaped after an anatomically correct human heart.

We already know that Pizza Hut set a very high standard for romantic cuisine for the coming holiday.  Valentine’s Day will simply never be the same after celebrating everlasting love by relishing in the joy of the franchise’s $10,010 Big Box Proposal Meal Deal.  Seriously, the phrase “I love you” is virtually synonymous with a one-topping medium pizza, a handful of overcooked breadsticks and bit of glitz and glamor.

Of course, other franchises and chains have taken notice.  Papa John’s pizzeria, for example, sold around 60,000 heart-shaped pizzas last year and expects to sell 75,000 this year.  Krispy Kreme is selling heart-shaped chunks of fun topped with all sorts of icing or sprinkles.  Down the street, competitive consumers will be able to celebrate Dunkin’ DonutsCupid’s Choice Donut and its Chocolate Heart Donut.

Somewhere in London, Lily Vanilli is laughing at the competition.  The baker, renown for unique and creative products, is now selling anatomically correct cakes that are shaped like real, bona fide human hearts.  I only wish I was making this up.  You can either visit the website to bear witness to images of these hearty desserts, or scroll down a bit for a better view.  As for me, well, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth, my stomach is making weird noises…gotta go.

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A greasy slice of pizza is the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day? You betcha.

Valentine’s Day has become synonymous with passionate romance, intimate meals, delicate red flowers and those goofy little greeting cards swapped by children.

The holiday is also closely associated with decadent chocolate and rich candied treats. These desserts are, however, relatively boring and uninspired. Still, hope exists for the affluent. Star-crossed lovers can now empty their wallets on the most expensive truffle in the world, which is priced at around $125.00 per ounce or around $2,000.00 per pound, or a box of ten chocolate bars accompanied by an Antic Swiss gold coin that costs $357.00. Those with more extravagant tastes can chose between sparkling desserts iced with jewelry, including a red velvet cupcake topped with an 8 carat diamond ring that costs $55,000.00 or a chocolate praline topped with a 3.63 carat diamond that retails for $240,000.00.

The rest of us – the blue-collar consumers – can always surprise our significant others with garlic bread and a hearty slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza. Soft drinks and chicken wings are optional, but are always greatly appreciated.

Holy slovenly sauces, Batman! Pizza Hut, the giant commercial franchise dedicated to the delivery of modern Italian cuisine, is now offering a pizza pie deal that costs $10,010.00. The franchise refers to the offering as its Big Box Proposal, and the scandalous spread includes a medium one-topping pizza, a generous portion of five breadsticks with marinara dipping sauce and ten cinnamon sticks topped with rich icing. The franchise is, of course, coupling the grub with a fireworks show, limousine service, a photographer, a videographer and a red ruby ring of undisclosed composition and value.

Extra cheese is available as a topping for an additional charge. I’m not kidding. The menu clearly indicates that consumers will have to pay more than $10,010.00 for another handful of processed cheese.

The dairy surcharged hasn’t deterred those eager to make their lover’s hearts pitter-patter to the beat of clogging arteries. A spokesperson for the franchise claims that the company received around eight hundred “serious inquiries” during a one-day period.

Eat your heart out, Papa John and Mr. Gatti. You’ll never successfully court Ms. Domino or Little Caesar with a simple spinach alfredo pie or a coupon for an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.

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